Need Your Help - Success and Failure Research

[Karolyn Hart]

Hey Everyone,

I am doing some research on the connection between success and failure and am looking for your input and thoughts to include in the articles I publish. If you consider yourself a great success OR a great failure I'd appreciate it if you shared with me the reason why. I'd also love if you could add your number one piece of advice that you think every women should know!

Thanks,
Karolyn

[Mary Lou Roe]

Hi Karolyn,

I just jumped on-line and saw your request. I consider myself to be a great success! It has zero to with money and an employment position and everything to do with the fact that I KNOW WHO I AM! I believe that WHO I am is so much more important than WHAT I am. I think this critical point is missed by so many people in the journey of life. Constantly striving to live up to other people's expectations is exhausting and confusing! Sometimes living up to my own expectations is tiring but I understand what they are about.

The number one piece of advice is this: Get to know yourself! Take the time to walk, think, breathe, journal and learn what makes you happy, sad, content, restless. And then as you travel your path listen to your instincts. If you really know yourself you will never doubt your own choices!

Mary Lou

[Michelle]

I think for the most part, a person's success or failure depends on their perception. They might think they're a failure, but another person might think they are in fact quite successful. The opposite can also be true.

My number one piece of advice is this: To become a success, you need to remain focused on your goals and regardless of the hurdles or obstacles in your way, keep at it and never, ever give up and you will get there!

[Jerilynne "MamaRed" Knight]

Interesting question since I've considered myself both, at one time or another. My definition of failure was tied around 2 things: my inability to be "perfect" (whatever the heck that means!) and my lack of income. After years of looking at those two items, I realized that I was the one holding me back, keeping myself from being successful. I mean, seriously now, how could I ever hope to be successful if I had "perfect" as a definition. And yet, there it was.

Since I focus on helping people rewrite their stories, I went to work on my own and starting redefining success, for myself and no one else.

My number 1 recommendation is that each woman create their own definition of success...what it looks like, feels like, is like and drop anyone else's expectations or definitions. Pray, meditate, walk, journal, breathe...get clear within yourself and you will be living your life, no one else's.

[Angles Lisa Hunt]

Hi Karolyn,

I truly have to agree with Mary Lou Roe. Being a great success is all about knowing "who you are and whose you are" and I learned that a long time ago. I have my own mission statement that I have displayed on my wall in my office and I read it everyday. Loving yourself is first and foremost the most important thing than anything else!

[Cindy A Eve]

Hi Karolyn,
Gosh, to read this link was quite weird in a way since I have just completed writing a book about this very thing.
I have for the past 2 years been on an amazing journey of personal development, invested a lot of money on this journey and yet the very reason I started the journey has not yet been resolved. So, although I do in fact consider myself to be very successful in many areas of my life, in this area I have failed......
My piece of advice: when you feel something is missing from your life, rather than look outwards, seek the answers within. They are usually there.
Have a great day
Cindy

[Margaret Steel Farrell]

Hi Karolyn! Wow, I just read your question from what, January 23??, yes, there begins my answer as I think "Gosh, I should go into this site more often" and I struggle not to feel like I've missed something or been too busy haha! And I read all the replies so far. I love them all. They are each so insightful and positive and hopeful. I love it. Each one made me want to write a reply but one word really stood out for me, when Michelle wrote "perception." Wow, incredible. Because, I agree, what you see as success, another could see as failure and what you see as failure, another could see as success. A favourite quote of mine is from Samuel Beckett, "Try again, fail again, fail better." I love the quirky hopefulness of it.

As for the question of whether I believe I am a success or a failure, I have to say I do struggle with how I see myself. Sometimes, most times, I'm very grounded and believe my life thus far has been quite a success. I judge who I am by how I manage myself in relationships (starting with my relationship with myself), how I've contributed to my community, my friends' lives, my family's lives and how I raise my son. I know how hard I have worked and continue to work to be the best I can be and feel very successful.

Other times, I spiral downward and can only see the mistakes I've made. It is an integral part of my journey to manage maintaining a positive, hopeful perception of myself and what I contribute to this world. But you know what? I'm totally into it! Thanks to my dear-heart girlfriends, a wonderful counsellor of years gone by, and an inner strength I thank God I was born with, I have learned great tools over the years for sorting things out and getting back on track when I stray off the "lovefest" with myself! haha!

My journey continues. I don't know how many more years or days or moments I have left and who knows what's in store for me. I'm quite sure I will be tested, dearly. I keep praying for the strength and grace and humour to keep growing and keep succeeding. I am also unbelievably grateful for my dear friends. For me, I think determining success or failure is ongoing because each moment presents a new opportunity. It's neat to me. Some might think that sounds negative because it's so volatile. But I think it's exciting and hopeful because it means that no matter how well or not well I'm doing, every single day, every single moment I have the opportunity to turn it around, to make it better. This gets me pumped.

Thanks for asking, K.
Marg